...Their loss
I've
decided that being a foster parent is a thankless job, and if it is done right,
than it ultimately will mean great pain and great loss. I saw it in Melinda when she said Goodbye to
Abby and I saw it again today. I don't
even know their names. But as I was
celebrating a beginning, they were grieving an end. I witnessed the selfless love of two people
and I will never forget the beauty I saw in their tears. I see their love reflected in the heart of my
little girl and realize that her loss, too, is greater than I can imagine.
I gain.
They lose.
While
adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption, it is also a painful reminder of
the devastation sin brought into our world and it's overwhelming consequences
on the very weakest among us. Redemption
always includes loss. Sometimes I like to glamorize my role in the process and
exaggerate the costs of adoption to me personally. But if I am honest, I know that in this
particular process, I am the biggest winner of all!
Rebekah's
birth mother lost. While I can not begin
to understand the reasons any mother would abandon her two and a half year old
to wander in a park alone and likely resign them to a lifetime as an orphan, I
can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she did so with great pain. I have only known her precious daughter for a
few days now, and the joy she brings to life is undeniable. What a void her abandonment must have left in
her mother's heart. Her great loss
breaks my heart more and more as I embrace the incredible gain of this precious
child's redemption.
Two year old PingPing was found wandering near the entrance of this park on July 24, 2011 |
Now the
people that loved her and cared for her and wanted her good lose too! Sadly, they have known great loss before this
one, which makes this redemption through adoption more painful still... Rebekah's
foster parents were an elderly couple that she affectionately called
"YeYe" and "NiNi" (Grandpa and Grandma). They had two children of their own that were
both lost in a tragic car accident, leaving them childless. So they agreed to foster orphans and pour out
their love onto them instead. I can see
their love and affection in Rebekah and the way she is willing to turn to me in
her hurting. But the depth of Rebekah's
loss I see in her grieving only portrays the even greater loss these precious
people must feel today as "their little girl" is ushered to her new
home far away. They had not wanted to be
there for her Gotcha Moment, because they feared parting would be too
difficult, but we were already at the orphanage when they arrived with her, so
they were forced to do so anyway. They
wept as they met us and then as they said goodbye. I will never forget them. I will never forget the great gain for
Rebekah or for us, as her family, that has now become their loss...
The most
devastating loser in this redemption story is also the sweet recipient of
it! Rebekah did not choose her loss- nor
was it the consequence of her own sin. She has suffered loss after loss after
loss before ever meeting us and the losses to her will always be a part of her
story. Only hours after she left the
arms of her foster parents, our guide took us to the park where she had been
left three and a half years ago, at the age of two. It was an expansive, picturesque park and we
made our way to the very place Rebekah was found, likely in tears because she
couldn't find her Mama.
Not thinking
about the impact this might have on Rebekah emotionally, we sat her alone in
that place for photos. Suddenly I was
awakened to my stupidly! This precious
child had only left the safety of her beloved foster parents hours before and
she now stood in the very place she had been abandoned as a little girl, far
too young to even understand what was happening to her! I hurried and scooped her up to reassure her
that her Mommy would never leave her alone again. I asked my guide to translate on my
behalf. "You don't have to be
afraid, Ping Ping," she said. "Your Mama will never leave you!" Rebekah's answer broke my heart and reminded
me of the loss she remembered well... "My Mama already left." She
told my guide.
I wept for her as we
walked around the park hand in hand and then marveled as she shared her bubbles
joyfully with a younger boy she befriended.
A crowd gathered, as they all admired her tenderness and joy in spite of
her obvious disability. May God use
those moments to reshape the hearts and minds of a people convinced by their
culture that the weak are unwanted!
Otherwise, they too become a part of this tragic loss as well.
My gains
in this redemption story are incalculable!
I have rarely been as acutely aware of the indescribable gift of the
precious children the world has written off as too disabled; too needy; too
much expected hardship to sacrifice for.
Instead, the world's losses are an incomprehensible gain to those of us
who will put ourselves in a position to be the hands and feet of Christ'
redemption to a dying world.
My gain...
Their
loss.
Thank you
Lord for this indescribable gift!
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