"I'm invisible...
When I put dinner on the table, everyone acts like it just appeared from nowehre. The four of us can sit down with a full meal in front of us, and Jake will say, "I didn't want milk," as if he's talking to the air. It's the same air that my husband talks to when he surveys the table laden with food and says, "There's no butter." I have come to understand that this means, "I can't see you; I'm not even addressing you. But when I say there is no butter, the butter lady will get up and get it."
And he's right. Presto, the butter appears like magic; the milk gets swapped for juice; and we go on with dinner. No one says thank you, because no one sees that anyone did anything.
My family has no clue how their socks get back in their drawers, how their favorite treats end up in that mysterious brown bag that sits by the door waiting to be picked up on their way out, who comes to pick them up after school, or why the dog doesn't wet on the rug anymore.
Tim, my teenager, takes everyone else's advice but mine. My husband Michael talks to other people like he's interested in the minute details of their lives, yet he doesn't even ask me about my day...
Is this what comes from seventeen years of marriage and two children?...
At first I didn't care about being invisible. I thought maybe it was just a temporary condition, but the longer it persisted, the harder it became to deal with, because the more I poured myself into my family, the more invisible I became. It was the complete opposite effect of what I was used to. In college or in the workplace, the harder I tried and the more I gave, the more I had to show for it. I became more visible, not less. But in my house the more I do, the more it gets taken for granted.
I mean, is this what I signed on for? What did I really expect?"
(From "The Invisible Woman" by Nicole Johnson)
In reading this book, “The Invisible Woman- When Only
God Sees”, I was reminded, that though I may be invisible to the world around
me, I am never invisible to God!
Invisibility can ultimately bring real significance and meaning to my
life, that I might miss otherwise!
Nicole Johnson demonstrated this beautiful truth through the stories of
the builders of cathedrals in Europe more than a thousand years ago….
I was fascinated and
started to research the lives of men and women who worked tirelessly to build
incredible Cathedrals for the gathering and worship of God’s people. I think as a woman who works tirelessly at
home- far from the applause of the world, you, too might find new perspective
from their lives….
*Cathedrals required
over 100 million pounds of stone and often consumed the labor of entire towns
with only hand tools and stone! Not only
were they architectural wonders that literally defied gravity, they were also
filled with sculptures that were considered Bible stories etched in stone. These intricate statues are staples of gothic
cathedrals and took dozens of carvers decades to complete.
*“Some of the architects and bishops behind a few of
these great building are known, and much credit is given to them for their
work, but the vast majority of the labor, the masonry, the carpentry, the
stained glass was all done by people whose names history will never reveal.”
*Many of these cathedrals took over a hundred years to
complete. One hundred years was far more
than one working man’s entire lifetime, which meant that many builders devoted
their whole lives to a work they would never see finished!
*A worker would need a special vision of what he was
creating to inspire him for the work ahead.
Especially since all he saw was rubble and dust and an endless amount of
work to be done. (sound familiar?)
*While many of these builders and workers were
townspeople, there were also a large number of monks. But unlike earlier monks, who were
preoccupied with intellectual life, these monks regarded manual work as a form
of prayer.
*Even along the roof lines of these magnificent cathedrals
are carvings that can not be seen from the floor stories below. Why was such craftsmanship expended on them,
and such planning given to their content and narrative? One sculptor wrote-
"The most lofty work is as carefully carved and skillfully finished as any
at a lower level.” (where man could see)
*A story is told of a very prominent man who went to
visit a cathedral that was being built.
He stopped to watch one of the workers, perhaps a monk. He saw the worker carving a tiny bird inside
of a beam that would eventually be covered over by the stone roof. The man asked the worker why he was spending
so much time and giving so much attention to something no one would ever see. The builder never looked up. He never stopped carving as he replied,
“Because God sees.”
Years later, Martin Luther urged ordinary people- not
just the clergy – to find the same perspective.
He told the world that it was not the nature of work that made it
holy. Milking a cow was no less holy than
giving an offering. Luther believed that
a housewife had as great a calling as a high priest, and that both should
perform his or her work as though God alone were watching. Holiness comes from God and from the heart of
the person doing the work, not from the work itself.
And now, centuries later, we read of exquisitely
carved statues hidden behind walls visible only by reaching in with a mirror
through holes in the plaster. It seems
the artists walled up some of their best work because they believed God himself
saw it, and they left it for God’s eyes only.
Their work was not hidden by some one else,; they hid their own
work. They weren’t afraid that no one
would find out what they’d done. The one
who mattered most had already seen it!
Titus 2 says that the older women are to teach the
younger to be “workers at home”. (some versions say “busy at home”, “keepers at
home” or “homemakers”) This career
choice is not a popular one in our culture.
Through the eyes of the world, there is no significance in forgoing a
“real” job and being keepers of the home who raise their own children. But when God’s Word was put to pen, He listed
it as one of the most important, significant roles we would have as a
woman.
In “Practicing the Presence of God” by Brother
Lawrence, he said this…
“We ought not to be weary
of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of
the work, but the love with which it is performed.”
“Let us think often that our only
business in this life is to please God. Perhaps all besides is but folly and vanity.”
Last week I had the opportunity to clean a home in our
area for $250.00. Say no more! Count me in!
I clean a home every single day of my life and have a wealth of
experience in my 30 years of homemaking, but not once has anyone handed me a
check for $250.00 to do it! I would
gladly set aside my own house work to do this one and already had a few ideas
in mind with how to spend that $250.00!!!!
I gathered my supplies, packed them in the back of my car, and was on my
way! This job opportunity had me
excited! Not, of course, because the
work would be fun or self-fulfilling… but because for once someone would
appreciate it enough to fork over the big bucks for it! I had a spring in my step when I arrived at
the home to discover a TON of work that needed to be done. It didn’t appear this would be done by the
time the kids got off the bus at 3PM.
That’s OK… Even if I had to come back that night, I was looking at way
more per hour than I had seen in 30 years!
Should I go clothes shopping or maybe look for a new piece of furniture
I had been wishing for….. it was fun to
dream about what to do with the fruit of my labor!
Within the first hour I had worked up a nice sweat and
looked the part of “frumpy maid”. I kept
the prize in mind as I got on my hands and knees and worked my way around the
commode it appeared the construction crew had been using. Suddenly a voice interrupted my thoughts on
the job I had only hours before found to be so appealing. It was a beautiful, well dressed, hose and
high-heeled wearing realtor stopping by to see if the house would be ready for
showing the next day. I got up from my
hands and knees, of course, and introduced myself. I was suddenly humiliated by what I sensed
was a very “low” position in comparison to hers! I felt the urge to somehow explain that I was
important… I was significant too… even if you couldn’t tell by the aroma of
bleach and sweat colliding with your designer perfume. Did she know how much experience I had? I was a bona fide professional… But at WHAT? Cleaning houses? I decided to just smile and return to work.
I had plenty of
time for some introspection as I wrapped my body back around the base of the
commode and finished up the first bathroom out of four that needed to be done
before I could go home to do the two that were begging for attention in my own
home! It became painfully obvious that I
had agreed to this job (and actually had been excited about it), solely because
it held for me the promise of reward! Had
I lost sight of the “reward” in cleaning my own home… in being the “keeper of
the home” God had designed me to be? I
obviously had! The truth was, I didn’t
need new clothing or another piece of furniture, and I suddenly wondered if the
time I had taken away from the care of my own home (and would have to do
later!) was worth it after all! The lure
of the money melted away… I wished I hadn’t taken the job.
It was obvious that God was teaching me something
through this experience and I didn’t want to miss it (and chance having to
repeat it again!). I had heard just a
few days earlier of a missionary family in great need in China. They had once given money to pay for Abby’s
open heart surgery when complications arose.
Now the orphan they were caring for and hope to adopt was terribly ill,
lying in ICU, clinging to life. Hospital
bills would need to be paid or care would not be provided. They were desperate for God to send help… My $250.00 would be just a drop in the bucket
in comparison to what they had done for my own daughter. But God had provided a way for me to give it,
and what had begun as a way to line my own pockets for more “stuff”, became a
way for me to serve the Lord through my cleaning “skills”!
Now suddenly- the job that had quickly become
drudgery, became a JOY! And I realized
as I cleaned my heart out until late into the night… that there seems only to
be JOY when done as “onto the Lord” when only He sees! And just as suddenly, I realized that the
quality of that work was equally as important.
I wasn’t cleaning that house for construction workers or for a
realtor! I was cleaning it for the Lord
and I didn’t intend to skimp on my offering!
Shouldn’t this apply to the keeping of my own home
too? He has entrusted that to me… asked
me to care for it. Should I not give my
whole heart to making it a beautiful offering to the God I love so much? It’s perfectly fine when “He alone sees”…
because He is the only One that matters!
While surrounded by young children and piles of dirty
laundry, I had begun to feel as if a life of “ministry” was on hold, at least
until those children started to go to school from 8-3, 5 days a week! THEN I would be free to get back to the
“ministries” I loved and ones that made me feel more valuable in God’s eyes…
and when that day finally came, I did! I
began to speak for MOPS Intl’ and enjoyed wonderful, “ease-filled” lunches with
my husband while they were all in school.
THIS was the life I had been waiting for and I had earned it!!!! Life was GOOD!
But 10 years ago, right in the middle of the
wonderful, ministry-filled life I was enjoying, I completely missed my monthly period! This had always meant only ONE thing and I was, of course, convinced that I was pregnant! God had
“overridden” our decision to have no more children biologically and He was obviously calling me
back to a life without the ease I had come to love. I decided then, that if this were true, then
I would finally follow my dreams of adoption from China and bring a little girl
home too!
I wasn’t pregnant. But I could clearly hear God’s whispering to my heart… “Lori, I won’t force you back home, but would
you return willingly?” 10 years, and 4
children from China later (soon to be FIVE… and YES, that was an announcement,
in case you missed it!), it would be safe to say that I willingly returned to
His call of full-time mothering and housekeeping once again! One of those little girls (and soon to be
two) was born with an extra “JOY” chromosome- commonly known as Down
Syndrome. In adopting Abby, and now
little Rebekah, I am CHOOSING to embrace this role of full time mom and
homemaker, likely for the rest of my life!
The most significant change was that I began to see
that those children are not “mine” (as I had often viewed my biological
children to be), but HIS- entrusted to me for a short time and intended to be
offered back to Him when I am through.
My home belongs to Him too, just like everything else I “possess”! My call as a mother and a “keeper” of that
home is a sacred trust! I work for
HIM! Not for my children and not for my
husband!
Whatever you do, work at
it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since
you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is
the Lord Christ you are serving.
If you look at all of Paul’s writings throughout the
New Testament, you find this theme woven into each and every one! So, it would only be natural to read the
words of Titus with the same idea in mind…
For us, as women, our place of service is the HOME, and we are to do it
with all of our hearts, as unto the Lord!
We too, can be like Paul, and become what he called a
“drink offering” before the Lord! Our
lives, poured out, in service to Him!
I remember a time in my life when I cried out to God-
“I want more of you!” I was not satisfied… And I didn’t know how to be. Everything I had looked to left me
empty! I knew that true joy would only
be found in Him, but I didn’t know how to get more of Him!
What I really wanted was all of me PLUS more of
Him… I did not yet understand that to
get more of Him (more JOY!), I would have to pour out some of me! But as I poured out more and more of me, I
discovered a JOY I had never known before!
Now I finally see it!
The more of me that I pour out- the more space there is, for more of
HIM! He can only come in and fill up
emptiness. When I am full of self there
is no room for Him! Give away me- make
room for Him- Give away His gifts- make
room for more gifts!
“Lord- give me more so that I have more to give!!!!” Joy, Joy, JOY!!!! That’s why we were created…. To glorify
Him! I become less- He becomes more- I
overflow with His JOY and He is more and more glorified in that JOY!!!! A beautiful cycle of JOY!!!! And that is His design! YES…
even in your God ordained role as the “keeper of your home”… When only
He sees!
The life of a mom and homemaker is far from a life of
ease (contrary to what the world would have us believe!), but it gives us the
perfect opportunity to pour ourselves out for the good of others and look to
Him for the significance and value we long for as women!
Just a few weeks ago, while wiping bottoms and bathing
little ones, I felt especially inpatient and irritable. My friends were all enjoying their empty
nests these days. Probably sitting in
front of the TV watching HGTV or out on a date with their husbands. My best friend happened to be in the Florida Keyes
for a long week away… alone…. with her husband… with no children…. I was
terribly jealous!!!! There would be no
empty nest for us, and likely not much HGTV, date nights, or weekends away, for
a long time to come. Why had I signed up
for this? But then God swept into my consciousness in an instant and brought
His words back to my mind… “Do everything as onto the Lord… It is the Lord
Christ you are serving!”
I had forgotten and my role became drudgery. But as I let that sweet reminder sink in and
I looked down at the child waiting for my help, I remembered… This is HIS child and He’s asked me to serve
HIM in this way. With what kind of heart
would I serve Him? Irritability and
impatience were replaced instantly with JOY!
HGTV is a great friend to spend the evening with, and
my husband even better! But relaxing in
front of a TV screen or in the Florida Keys alone with my husband won’t bring
the kind of JOY serving Him does!
The greatest JOY I will ever know is found in those
places… those sacrifices that “only God sees”!
What I do may be invisible to the world around me… maybe even to the
very people I am doing them for. But my
offering is never invisible to God and the reward is so much more than a mere
$250.00 I’d earn for cleaning up after construction workers.
My life, and the way I choose to live it, is all I
have to give back to God… and I only have one chance to do it! You will be a mother of young children and
the intense homemaking that comes along with them for such a short time and as
much as you’d like to sometimes, you cannot turn back the hands of time… They
will fly from the nest before you know it, and this particular carving in the
cathedral of your life will be complete.
Will you give yourself fully to that, knowing that though the world
might not notice.. God does, and your offering is beautiful to Him!? What will you do with this ONE sacred
opportunity He has given you?...
“WHEN ONLY GOD SEES"
Yay, Lori!! Another precious one is coming home to her family!!!!! Can't wait to "meet" her!! BTW Abby looks very happy to be with her family : )
ReplyDelete