ONE life...


 How far will God go to redeem just ONE?  I’ll show you!

On Nov 7, 2005 a precious little girl was born to a family that could not or would not choose to parent her.  Only God knows the reasons why that family chose to leave her in the clinic of the hospital that day when she was just 8 months old….  Was it because she was a girl?  Or had they discovered that she had been born with Down Syndrome and almost every medical problem associated with it.  Her heart was broken…. Her intestines partly blocked… Her vision weak.  Not a dream come true by any stretch of the imagination.  Discarded to be found by officials that ultimately decided that her life was not worth saving…  She was cast aside and over the course of the next 20 months would be left to slowly die.  She needed heart repair…. Not something you do for a child no one wants.  Unadoptable.  That’s what they called her.  Unwanted.  She would die and no one would notice….

But the God who created her just as she was, noticed…  He whispered into the heart of one of His children and sent her to be His hands and feet to the fatherless; to the least of the least; the unwanted and the unadoptable.  Melinda arrived at the orphanage and was presented 2 children from among the “normal” population of orphans to consider for fostering… They were surrounded by toys and bright colors, and their sparkling smiles warmed Melinda’s heart…. She could do this!!!  There was one other child left for Melinda to consider, but she was on another floor, specifically reserved for children with mental disabilities.  Melinda was led there and was instantly struck by the cold and lifeless feel in the air.  What a stark contrast to the bright colors surrounding the children downstairs.  Her eyes laid upon a child, so sick, so malnourished, so in need of love and hope… Add to that a diagnosis of Down Syndrome and a laundry list of other medical issues and Melinda knew she was witnessing one of the most heartbreaking stories in her lifetime.  The orphanage claimed the child was 28 months old.  You would have never guessed it by looking at the shell of a body laying there so lifelessly, malnourished and dying. 



Melinda asked that she might foster all 3 of the children she’d met that day…  No- only one.  She would have a week to complete the required paperwork and to choose.    How is one to choose, she wondered, when they all desperately needed to be wanted?  She cried out to God to point out the ONE He had in mind…    There was no mistaking His choice. 

“I’ll take that ONE!” Melinda said, as she pointed toward the little one so sick and so near death…  The orphanage staff looked at her with disbelief.  Did she not know that this child was destined to die “unwanted”?  Undaunted, Melinda insisted that THIS was the child she had been sent to find. 

I know this is hard to see- but this is the reality of so many of the fatherless around the world tonight!

Within a few hours, she would return to her apartment with the dying child she discovered beneath the layers of oversized clothing…  It was a girl!  She would name her Abigail!  A bath would be her first order of business…  And the smile that first warm bath brought confirmed that she had selected the ONE child God had in mind for her….  “Unwanted” no more.  She was wanted deeply, not only by the God who had so perfectly fashioned her, but by the earth’s angel He had sent to rescue her too.



Melinda didn’t have much to offer her, but she had love and she would give her that!  And through that love, little Abigail discovered what it meant to be wanted!  And she was taught before she could even fully understand, about the God who would send hope to the darkest and the most hopeless of places to find her.  All to redeem just ONE! 







One of Abigail’s first words would be “Bible” and she delighted in saying it!  It seemed she somehow knew something most of us miss…  The God of the universe loved her!  And He would do whatever it took to show her!!!  Why is it that those of us without the challenges that Abigail faces every single day, can not seem to wrap our arms around a God so big?  It appears that maybe He fashioned children just like her, through which to show us!  One hug from a child who loves nothing more than to spread His love through hug, after hug, after hug, and you know you’ve encountered something special from the unseen!


The open-heart surgery that Abigail so desperately needed would be Melinda’s second order of business.  But money for such an expense is not something she had!  And yet, God had rescued her to provide for her, and that He did!  He would send the help she needed through His people and Abigail would come through surgery with a heart to last a lifetime!






Then, a year later, intestinal surgery…. Where they would go to the hospital only to wait…day, after day, after day, not allowing Abigail to eat for 10 full days before it would finally be done!  How do you explain to a precious child that nearly died of starvation, that she cannot eat, though her tummy rumbles with hunger and her mouth longs for anything to fill it?  But through that surgery, God would bring healing to her intestines and the ability to finally be nourished and grow.


Life was good… Abigail was loved and healthy… and growing in Her knowledge of the One who had made her and rescued her for that very reason!  Foster siblings would be added to her home.  Some almost as desperate as she had once been!  But Melinda knew that she was not the forever family God had in mind for Abigail.  What would be years and years of pleading for a forever family for the child she loved so much had begun.  The orphanage had threatened once already to force all foster children to return to the government’s care again, and Melinda could hardly bear the thought... 


She prayed with more ferver than she had ever prayed before.  She prayed together with Abigail for God to find a forever Mommy and Daddy far away willing to make her their own.  But the unthinkable happened.  A fire in a foster home far away had caused the death of several orphans and the government would put their heavy foot down.  All  children would be returned to their orphanages, without exception.

It was probably the hardest day of Melinda’s lifetime.  She dressed Abigail and packed a few of her things…  How could she prepare this 7 year old girl whom she had loved for over 5 years for what was ahead?  She would have to return her there, to the very place she had been found, and walk away.  The orphanage director was there to witness Melinda’s emotional good-bye.  And surprisingly, she found herself in tears too, as she saw with her own eyes, the deep love Melinda shared with this child no one wanted. 



Melinda would return a week later to visit Abigail and to see if she was struggling as deeply as she had been with the separation.  Would Abigail suddenly question all the things she had taught her about the God that loved her so much that He had redeemed her from this very place, only to return her there again?  She shuttered at the thought.  But, as it is so often with our Lord… He had a sweet surprise waiting for Melinda when she arrived for the visit.  The orphanage director had been deeply moved and decided that she would make an exception where there had not been one…  “Take her back home!”  she told Melinda.  And the day she thought would be a difficult visit with another painful goodbye, turned into a beautiful homecoming!   But, with that week of separation and one of the most difficult experiences of her life now behind Melinda, she felt an increasing burden for Abigail to finally find a forever home.  She knew the answers would only come through the Father that knew best, and she cried out to Him to move on behalf of her precious little girl.


Emails were sent, and blogs posted, in search of a family far away that would open their hearts to love this ONE child God had gone to such extremes to redeem!  An email would arrive only weeks later from a Mommy in Florida.  God had captured her heart for precious Abigail, and if He would only speak to her husband, she would willingly take her as her own!  Her file had been located on a list that contained almost 2000 other “unwanted” children.  That file was pulled from the list and “locked” for two weeks while the family was given a chance to consider her adoption.  Two weeks to cry out to God on her behalf, and cry out Melinda and that Mommy did!  God heard those cries and, though they did not know it, He was moving mightily in that husband/Daddy’s heart for the fatherless girl He loved so much!  With only days to spare before the file would be released, that Daddy would confess with tears that God’s plan was made abundantly clear to him…  Abby was his daughter!  It was time to bring her HOME!



It would take more than $30,000 to complete her adoption.  Money the family did not have.  But who would be foolish enough to question whether or not the God who loved this child so much, would provide everything needed to redeem her?  And He did!  Every single penny of it…. On behalf of just ONE “unadoptable”, unwanted, little girl!




The next chapter of that ONE life is about to begin.  On November 10th, in a hotel room in Shenyang, China, Melinda will deliver Abby into the arms of the Mommy they have both prayed for, and within only days Abby would no longer be an orphan, but the precious daughter of Doug and Lori McCary; sister to Russ, Steph, Sarah, Ryan, Kate, Rachel, and Ellie; and to Abby’s delight, friend and companion for the puppy she can hardly wait to meet!  






We’re thrilled to invite you along for the journey and to marvel along with us, at the unthinkable, immeasurable things our Lord will do to redeem just ONE!



“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or think… to Him be the glory!”

This is NOT the life I planned...


The one I planned is, in fact, unrecognizable from the one I am now living!  As I look back over the journey of these past several years, I am struck by how difficult they have been; how laced with pain they have been; and yet they are overwhelmingly filled with blessings I could not have known any other way...  That makes them "blessings in disguise", because each and every one have come as a result of the painful road chosen for me, in spite of my own best laid plans!  

I'm pretty convinced that if we were allowed to plan our lives from start to finish, there simply would be no days of difficulty or heartache written in, nor would we have added any days, months, or years of waiting…  Nope!  I’d like my life, as planned, right on time…. Sooner, rather than later!  I wouldn’t have chosen sickness of any kind.  Certainly not the kind that could take the life of one of my children!  None of the stuff that means multiple trips to the doctor or the hospital and days and weeks separated from my family would have been included either!  Let that be for someone else… I hate hospitals!  For that matter, I hate waiting!  I hate lonely and isolated.  My life would have none of that!  I hate broken relationships and disappointment.  Erase both please!

Forbidden from my plans would be pain- period!  Pain is to be avoided at all costs!  Protect yourself, and put up large shields against anything that looks remotely like pain.  Take no risks with your heart.  That is the only sure way to guard it…

But in surveying my life I suddenly realized that if I could erase all those things which I had not personally planned, many of the people I treasure the most would not be a part of it!

Look at our precious Rachel~ If God was as committed to a pain-free life for me as I have always been, she wouldn't be here.  I'm so glad she is!  

For that matter--- neither would Ellie!  She became a part of our family with much pain and tears... hers and mine!  Our house is filled to overflowing with JOY because she's here!!!


Or my goof-ball friend, Sonia, who has made this difficult journey so much fun, I forgot it was difficult!


Or Emily~  my "little sister" who's taught me more than any young sister could and has inspired me to dig in deeper when pain rushes in.  Now we're digging in deeper together!!!  
Here's Emily with her Shanghai Princess- Mighty Mac and her heart girl- Lily

And if I weren't convinced by now that God's plans are far better than my own-- even if they do, in fact, include pain--I certainly wouldn’t be hopping on a plane in a little over a month to bring little Abby home!



I'm finally figuring out that life isn’t really lived except through the unintended pain and its' beautiful rewards!  Yes… real living includes the pain; the hardships; the waiting; the broken; the loneliness; and the disappointing!  And it seems the month of Sept. serves as the perfect reminder of these things...

The past month has been filled with milestones that make me more aware than ever that this is not the life I planned.  Sept, 8, 2004 was Kate’s 1st birthday, spent alone in an orphanage without a mommy and daddy.  But it was also the day we received her referral and the very last birthday she would ever spend alone.  So it’s a day we love to celebrate as our Kate's Birthday and the very first day we ever saw her precious face and knew that she was the child God had chosen to be OURS! But it was only possible because of the heartache and loss that preceded it.  On Sept. 8th every year, I am reminded of that. 
This is the first picture we ever saw of Kate on Referral Day- Sept 8, 2004
Sept 8th held even greater significance this year, because that day marked 18 months of Rachel’s wait on the heart transplant list.  It is hard to celebrate on a day that marks so many days of waiting and wondering what lies ahead.  But we would have to be blind to not see that this day marks a miracle too!  Rachel’s health is still critical, BUT she is considered “stable”!  And for every moment, of every hour, of every day, of every month, and now every year…. we are struck by the way she lives life so fully!!!
 
It would not be honest of me to lead you to believe that this has been anything but the most difficult wait of my life-time!  Reminders of the wait are everywhere… from the cell phone I have begun to loathe, because I’m so sick of it’s hold over me and it’s refusal to ring with the call I’m waiting for; to that stupid suitcase, made ready to leave for the hospital the moment that cell phone does finally ring with good news, that has been packed and repacked so many times, I honestly don’t know what’s in there anymore!!!  But I wouldn’t be honest either if I failed to mention how those 18 months have blessed us with a new perspective on living that I’m certain we would have gained no other way!   

And what would this journey be, if not the most incredible opportunity to build relationships with some of God’s most humble servants, most of whom we would not have met were it not for the life we did NOT plan!  Rachel’s cardiologist is one of those incredible servants!  Dr Fricker may be a doctor to many, but he is family to us!!!!  The other day Rachel walked into the family room and I could hear the voice of Dr Fricker coming from the ITouch in her hand!  They were having a Facetime conversation and she brought her ITouch over so that we could say “Hi"!  OK… that’s a first!  We told Rachel that she couldn’t just Facetime with Dr Fricker during the day like that… he had very important things to do and very sick patients to attend to.  She hurried to say goodbye and whispered “I love you” into the ITouch before she hung up!  Make no mistake!  Dr Fricker is Rachel’s grandfather in every single way that matters!!!  How else could we have known such a blessing?  Only a broken heart, and our need for a great cardiologist, made this lifetime relationship we treasure possible!

At our most recent appointment in Gainesville, Dr Fricker took us to our favorite restaurant for lunch…  Afterward, when it was time to say goodbye, he picked Rachel up for a hug and to tell her that he would call her if he found the perfect heart we’ve all been waiting for!  I could hear him as he instructed her to look at him and listen… she must eat more, he told her!!!  I was frozen in place as I witnessed this beautiful exchange between a little girl and her Cardiologist/Grandfather.  My etiquette (what little I have anyway!) said to tell her to immediately stop running her fingers through his beard, but I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth, in light of the beautiful moment they were sharing!  Have I told you how grateful we are for this dear man of God, whose had a "Hope for Rachel" bracelet on his wrist for over a year now?  You can't imagine!



Most beautifully, the wait has meant time for Rachel to get to know Jesus.  It was a name she had never even heard before 2 years ago when we found a Chinese Christian to share the Gospel with her before even leaving China.  Now, it seems, she has a deeper understanding of God’s ways than most adults I know.  She has the most beautiful eternal perspective I’ve ever seen, and makes me desire to live that way too!  She taught us that the very things we’ve always avoided are the avenues through which God reveals Himself most clearly! 

On Sept. 13th , we celebrated Rachel’s 2nd 'Gotcha Day' Anniversary.  I couldn’t help but take a trip down memory lane, the way I always do when celebrating life’s most treasured moments!  She was 7 years old then…  but so much more like a 4-5 year old in every way.  She had never been outside the walls of that orphanage in her memory, and she had so much to learn about the world she had only dreamed of being a part of!  And learn she has!!!!  Her English is near perfect.  And after only 6 weeks in kindergarten, 5 months in 2nd grade, and 9 months in 3rd grade, she is literally almost on level with her English-speaking peers!  And the child whom had never even had a bath in the first 7 years of her life, now has a ‘Make A Wish’ Swim Spa as her personal bathtub; can cross the deep end of the pool like a seasoned swimmer; and has even mastered the ocean waves on a boogie board!  She’s ridden tubes down waterslides and even tried a kid’s rollercoaster.  We walked past the signs that said people with heart conditions shouldn’t ride, and we ignored them! ...Because Rachel is trying to live life to it’s very fullest while she waits… and if she’s taught us anything, it’s that you don’t WAIT to live!!!! 

Yes, she did!!!  And she LOVED it!!!

Celebrating a "Gotcha Day" with a child you met at the age of 7- who longed for family and home with every fiber of her being- is a lot different than commemorating the day with a child who can’t remember it!  Now that Rachel can communicate all of her thoughts and feelings of that day, I see the celebration with fresh eyes.  But it was made possible only because of the deep pain and loss that proceeded it…  In fact, it is the very pain that makes us acutely aware of the blessings brought through family and home and the precious heart of gratefulness that indwells our precious girl for so much of what we take for granted!  The unexpected blessings overwhelm me on those days!!!!

Just in case you can't read Rachel's article above about an important event in her life in her own words:  "The cool thing is when I got adopted.  I was so excited that I got adopted in September and in China.  God moved my Mom's heart to adopt me.  Because I never had a mom or dad or sister or brother in my whole life this was the best thing that ever happened to me.  The end."

And don't miss the beautiful ad below her story for her favorite movie- The Jeus Moive
(Translated- The Jesus Movie)

The journey with all of our adopted treasures has brought with it so many such blessings…  But each one, blessings disguised in pain!  And ones I would likely have missed since this is NOT the life I planned.... 

This September brought with it many of our final adoption approvals.  That means that in about 6 weeks, I will board a plane for China to bring Abby home.  I don’t have a clue what God has in mind through adding her and that extra-special chromosome to our family.  If I were gut level honest, I’d willingly admit that I am afraid… This journey was NEVER a part of my plan!  It is fraught with far too many unknowns and hardships to have been included from the beginning.  But I know now… that it has been a part of God’s plans all along!  I don’t know why that strikes Doug and I “funny”, but it does!  Sometimes we look at each other, as we consider what lies ahead, and simply laugh at the “absurdity” of it all!  We know little about the imminent future, or the long-term one!   What we DO know is that we are bringing home a child with a huge set of medical and cognitive challenges that are unfamiliar.  We DO know that God is calling us to adjust our plans to make room for His.  We DO know that this decision is likely a “life-time” one, and sometimes the gravity of that feels overwhelming!  But we also know much about God’s ways, because we’ve had a front row seat on more than a few journeys we never intended to take and we’re convinced that whatever hardships the days ahead hold, the blessings that come along with them will make it worth it all!!!
I know it's blurry... but priceless anyway!  This is the first time we met Abby "in person" via Skype!
The past several years have held more pain than I ever imagined one life could hold.  Every fiber of my being pushed against the pain, trying to hold it at bay.  But, as God designed it, my flesh finally gave way and the doors of my heart were opened for Him to come in; pick up the pieces; and fill in the gaps the pain left behind with more of Himself.  The pain remained and does to this day… but His presence is stronger than I’ve ever known it before and joy has bubbled to the top, in spite of the pain below.  At times I am tempted to envy the lives of others that do not know this pain that God’s providence allowed for me… but then I am reminded of the immeasurable blessings that came with the pain and I wonder at how much they should envy ME! 

I’ve been thinking a lot about heaven lately…  longing for it actually!  And as I write tonight, I realize that even that longing would not exist without the pain of this world.  When our lives lead us down roads we never planned to travel on… very difficult ones… it causes us to yearn for something more.  Something better.  Far better!  That something is Heaven itself!  The perfect life God’s had planned for me all along… where He promises there will be no more crying, and no more of the pain I’ve worked so hard to avoid!

This is NOT the life I planned…  Thank you, Lord, that the one You planned is so much better!!!!